I have been so negligent to this blog since Zach's first month. We've had a whole lot of changes and things are pretty busy and in flux. Zach is an awesome baby. He's so smiley and happy. His giggle just melts my heart. He has the most squeezable cheeks and most smiley eyes ever. He truly has brought so much joy into our family.
But the kid won't sleep. Like ever. We're up every 2 hours with him almost every night. His naps are few and far between and usually only last 30-40 minutes. Basically, I'm just exhausted. Totally and thoroughly exhausted. Honestly, I've never been this wiped out in my entire life.
I've never been a big fan of change, either. But, these past few months have been one change after another in the Schirel family and we're all figuring out how to adjust. Here's a little rundown of what's gone down:
June/July 2011...Zach born. Joy! Love having a new baby. Running on hormones and adrenaline to maintain some energy despite the sleepless nights. Feeling guilty for not having as much time with Zoe, but so happy to see how much she loves her baby brother already. And then the end of summer and early fall rolls around and all of sudden the Schirel world is rocked...
About 1 month after Zach's birth, our nanny decided to move back to Poland. Talk about the worst timing ever. Zoe loved Basia and so did I. She was like another grandma to Zoe. I figured having another baby wouldn't be so tough as long as we had Basia around, as well. Well, that didn't quite work out. Basia's last day was Labor Day. Tears. Lots of 'em. For all of us.
On top the huge void left in Zoe's world with Basia gone, she started a 3-day-week preschool in early September. The school is great and Zoe seemed to be doing really well at first. But now, she's been struggling with some kind of delayed separation anxiety . So that's been really hard on all of us. She's gotten really quiet and withdrawn at school, which is totally unlike her. But, hopefully it's just another phase in this emotional toddler world.
We found a new nanny pretty quickly. But after two weeks, I realized she didn't mesh well with us. Not with Zoe. Not with me. And not with Zach. So we've actually been nanny-less since mid- September, which has made working challenging to say the least. I've cut back considerably on the assignments I am taking on. And somehow I am managing to write during short nap times, nights, weekends and at the gym when I drop the kids off at the gym's kids' club. Before having Zach, I hadn't planned on suddenly becoming a full-time stay-at-home-mom. I love that I have been able to work part time and be home with the kids part time. I really love working. I love writing. I love using my brain in ways that extend beyond motherhood. And yes, I like making my own money too. So, on top of major sleep deprivation, this has been the hardest thing to cope with for me so far. But, once Zoe gets more comfortable at school and we can get Zach sleeping a little better (and able to take a bottle...which he still can't seem to figure out), we'll get back on the nanny search. I'm guessing it'll be by the beginning of the new year.
And finally, one very exciting change has been that Jody got a new job! While Chase had been good to him for about 5 years, he was itching for a new challenge. He's now at the Acquity Group and really enjoying it. He still has a sweet 10-15 minute commute, so I am once again thankful that we decided to wait a little longer before moving out to the burbs.
So yes, life's been challenging lately. But it's also been wonderful. Every day, I am so thankful for this awesome family and for good friends and family who have really helped us out. We're planning to do some sleep training with Zach the minute he turns 5 months, so I am hopeful that some reasonable amount of sleep and structure are right around the corner. Oh lord, I hope they are anyway!
I'll try to get more posts up here. Although it sounds like we've been couped up inside as sleep-deprived zombies, we've actually managed to have plenty of fun this fall...and I've got dozens of photos to prove it! So stay tuned...
